食咗飯未? / Have you eaten yet?

Free motion embroidery, print, hand stitch, paint and applique on an apron worn by my mum.

食咗飯未? [sikh jor fannh mei], in Cantonese Chinese, means ‘Have you eaten yet?’ or more literally, “Have you eaten rice yet?”. The phrase is used as a greeting, to ask how you are doing and enquire about one’s general well-being. It perhaps speaks of a time when food wasn’t always available.

Growing up, whenever I got into trouble with my parents there would often be a moment of tension, some shouting and then I’d go to my room slamming all of the doors as I went. Hours later, I’d wander back into the kitchen and Mum or Dad would ask 食咗飯未? [sikh jor fannh mei] “Have you eaten yet?”. It would be clear that I hadn’t eaten because they’d been in the kitchen the entire time but that never stopped them from asking. They’d then make me some food, I’d eat and that’s how we how we got over the incident.

In Cantonese, there really it’s a term for “I love you” or “I really care for you” in a maternal/paternal way. 食 咗飯未? / “Have you eaten yet?” is the only way my parents have expressed their love, through small acts of service.

Below you’ll find examples of those small acts of service in the form of stories and recipes. Click on each image to find out more.